Monday, March 1, 2010

Lamb to the Slaughter-Singapore Free Press

Singapore Free Press

WHEN A DIVORCE GOES WRONG: MEN, BEWARE

A wife kills her husband after he breaks the news.

Mrs. Mary Maloney has been arrested for murder after brutally bashing up her husband to death. Her husband, Mr. Patrick Maloney, returned home after work and drank two glasses of whisky to calm himself down before breaking the news to his wife. He explained carefully that he would give her alimony and support her and the baby in her womb. Mary, being a greedy and selfish person, wanted all the money for herself and started planning Patrick’s murder in order to claim his 1.5 million dollars life insurance and all of his money. She then hatched a plan and started to carry it out.

Mary Maloney pretended to make dinner for her husband. She went to the freezer and took out a frozen leg of lamb; after all, no one would suspect food to be a murder weapon. She then went back up from the basement, and to her joy, found Patrick Maloney glaring out the window. She then took the leg of lamb and crept up to him stealthily. With one heavy swing, Mary hit her husband on his head and sent him to his grave. She then put the lamb into the oven so that she could act ‘natural’. This was phase one of her plan. She went to the grocer acting normal, to create an alibi. She came home and pretended to cry as she saw her husband on the floor. In her heart, she was actually smiling happily. She called her husband’s friends, which were detectives and they arrived shortly and examined the crime scene. Mary told them that she came home from the grocer only to find her husband dead and tried to make the detectives less attentive by letting them drink whisky.

Mary Maloney also managed to make them eat the leg of lamb that she used to kill her husband. When the detectives were finishing the last bits of the meat, they heard a soft giggling sound. Fortunately, they soon realized Mary’s sinister plot and arrested her. Her cruelty wasn’t going to go unpunished. She was brought to court and was found guilty and sentenced to death. She was given five months, three months for giving birth to the baby and two months to breastfeed the baby. She will be hung 8 weeks later in front of the public at 12 noon.

Written by:

Alexander Nicolas (01) 1P3

Bryan Soon (3) 1P3

Lim Dae Koon (16) 1P3

Yuan Xinran Stanley (31) 1P3

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